Surviving Edinburgh

Dave Cohen offers some tips for those taking a show to the biggest arts festival in the world.

Taking a show to the Edinburgh Fringe is very exciting and very scary. I took 13 over an eleven-year period, and came home each year drained emotionally, physically, and occasionally financially. I learned how to survive and even how to make money and, towards the end, how to actually enjoy it.

Whether you’re writing, performing, both, or just going up for the hell of it, here are a few tips.

Your show

It has to be incredible. You’re competing for an audience with big name performers, Fringe stars, world-famous authors, new movies and subsidised theatre. If your show is brilliant then word-of-mouth will sell it. If it’s just okay then I hope you’ve got a sympathetic bank manager.

Money

It’s all about money. Don’t even think of going to the Festival in the expectation of making money or breaking even. Unless you have a Sugar Daddy or an illegal laundering scam, you should constantly be looking to minimise costs.

Try not to have more than two actors in your show, unless the ones you have can play more than one part - well. And explain to your actors that merely performing will not be enough – they will be expected to go out on the streets and sell your show.

Sell your show

The Fringe Programme is the bible for festival goers. Hundreds of thousands of people read it. You have 50 words to sell your show. Use them wisely. What makes your show intriguing? Why should we come and see it? Get an old Fringe programme, read the blurb from other people – and do better. You’re a writer.

Hype

Ignore all the pre-Edinburgh hype. If you have a really good show, you will eventually get an audience. If you’re well known, or have lots of money, you’ll feature heavily in the build-up, and will do good business in the opening weekend, but unless you’ve got a decent show you won’t sell tickets.

Money (again)

Book your travel tickets as early as possible. You can pick up a return train ticket from London to Edinburgh for 30 quid. Think creatively about accommodation. Ideally you will have a friend with a spare room who lives in Edinburgh. If not, a relative. Failing that, a friend of a friend. Try a flat swap. Try the Guild - see if there’s a local member who can put you up. Or stay on a camp site. Do anything and everything to keep your costs down.

Stay healthy

Try not to go drinking every night. It’s so tempting, once your show is over to drink yourself into a stupor with a bunch of fellow writers and performers, who, like you, are enduring the painful misery of turning up to the venue and finding they outnumber their audience. (It's even worse if they’re actually doing really well)

Publicity

Don’t sit around waiting for your audience. Go out and press-gang them to come and see you. And don’t just hand out a leaflet, find a queue (in Edinburgh in August you’re never more than five minutes walk away from a queue) and work it. You have to be a street performer.

Reviews

Don’t expect reviews. Then, don’t expect them to be good. Allow yourself exactly one hour to wallow in utter misery and depression for each bad review you get. (Word always gets out when you’ve got a stinking one, so if you can, avoid seeing that one completely.) And don’t expect good reviews to increase your audience. Keep your expectations low at all times.

Sanity

The Fringe is a slog. If you’re going up this year, you’re already emotionally committed. You need to train for it as if you’re about to conquer Everest. You need to be physically fit, and you need to be mentally prepared for the hours of tedium, sweat and boredom that fill most of your days in Edinburgh.

Be sure to build in treats to your timetable. Ten days in, when you know pretty much how things are going, you can start taking the odd afternoon or morning off. There are plenty of cheap or free things to do – walk round Princes Street Gardens, take a bus to Cramond Island, or Portobello (the seaside), or the Botanic Gardens, walk along the canal.

And finally… money

Make sure you’ve got some work lined up for September. You’ll need it.

Dave Cohen is a comedy writer and performer. For more information about the Fringe visit edfringe.com